Really, this is what we're doing now? →
phantomwise: Increasingly dominated by women MY ASS.
My Tumblr summed up in 7 questions.
URL: werebee Top 5 fandoms you’ll see: My Chemical Romance. The Fall. Aaron Sorkin. Merlin. And, of course, Linn Eriksson. Top 3 celebrities you’ll see: Mikeyway. Frank Iero. Gerard Way. Top 3 other topics you’ll see: Books. Advertising. Music. Do I make graphics?: I bet you wish I didn’t. Do I liveblog?: No. I save that for twitter. My ask box is: Always open.
Reblog if you have met someone online that you...
Two and a half hours is the longest I’ve...
Linn and I, on legs
Bee: You are very short
Linn: I'm sorry if I don't have legs like a giraffe
Bee: Giraffe legs are sexy.
Anonymous asked: Actually I got it from you existing in the world, but the breathing helped for sure.
Anonymous asked: Well, I generally assume you're a total marshmallow with a penchant for music that "touches you on the inside". Also you have weird friends.
Seriously, why am I even anonymous? GUESS WHO I AM I BET YOU CAN'T
Seriously, why am I even anonymous? GUESS WHO I AM I BET YOU CAN'T
I wanna know what people assume about me because...
Put an assumption in my ask. I’ll confirm or dispute it. I’m not gonna be mean or anything, I’m just very interested. You can go anon if you want.
Linn and I, on swearing
Bee: I just swear because I can
Linn: That's what swearing is for!
Linn: It's a fucking verbal punctuation mark, for fuck's sake.
Linn and I, on beatings
Bee: Thanks for the beatings!
Bee: I need them sometimes
Linn: Spare the rod, spoil the Bee
Linn and I, on cleavage
Linn: I'm sitting here wiping down my cleavage. It would be sexy if it wasn't so gross
Linn: Indeed. You know me, classy to the end
Linn and I, on badassery
Linn: Ahahaha, oh, your badass face.
Bee: Fuck you
Linn: It'd work so much better if you didn't have a feather painted all over your face
Bee: I am more badass with a feather on my face
Bee: ...oh god, that might be true
Linn and I, on evolution
Bee: While grating the carrots I discovered I have evolved
Bee: Because the only way I could bleed that much from grating my thumb a little is if a major artery is there, one I gained from texting so much
Linn: ...you're unbelievable.
Bee: In a good way, right?
Linn: Good is not quite the word I'd use.
Bee: endearing? Charming as fuck?
Linn: More like insane and suicidal
Bee: Only inadvertently, to the latter part
Bee: I'm savant like.
Linn: No, no, not savant. Idiot, yes, savant, no.
Bee: I use words with a certain poetry and panache
Linn: Well, I suppose even a blind chicken can find a corn on occasion.
Bee: I think that's a metaphor to say what I said when you, you yourself, told me sometimes you want my words tattooed on your body.
Linn: You must have dreamed it
Bee: I probably am just so psychotic you don't even exist, so.
Linn: Very likely
Bee: At least you agree.
Linn: Well, sometimes I have to give you a crumb
Linn and I, on pirates
Linn: It seems I have now gotten stuck in the Mean Girls rut for the night. I blame you
Bee: Damn. I do not want to be responsible for that
Linn: Oh, but you are
Bee: always. You lie like the whore you are
Bee: The pirate whore you are
Linn: Oooh, pirate!
Bee: Yes, yes, you get paid in gold, but it's hardly worth it from all the hook damage
Linn: And the syphilis
Bee: And scurvy
Linn: Well, I'm not on a boat 10 months a year, so I'm slightly safer on that account.
Bee: Sure, but scurvy-breath, no thanks
Linn: Yeah. And the rotting teeth
Bee: At least if they lose a gold tooth in you, you get to keep it
Linn: True dat. And I can rob 'em blind while they're knocked out by the rum
Bee: only if you're careful
Linn: True. Won't do if they take out my eye
Bee: Or raze your port for it
Linn and I, on verbs
Bee: I just wanted to soup tonight
Bee: Yes, soup is a verb
Linn: Soup is not a verb
Bee: It is. My words prove it.
Linn and I, on subterfuge
Bee: you vulgar hag
Linn: Mmmm, yes, you love it
Bee: but I'll deny it to anyone else
Linn: I hate to tell you this, my darling, but you are not as subtle as you think, and people can see straight through you.
Bee: I am a master of subterfuge
Linn: That's only what we tell you to your face so you won't feel bad about yourself, but really, you're hopeless and we make fun of it behind your back
Bee: you're not a very good liar
Linn: I'm an excellent liar. I've tricked you into thinking I'm smart, haven't I?
Linn and I, on editing
Bee: Hey, sometimes my inner editor wants to strangle you. You're just lucky it would rather strangle the average passerby
Linn: Your inner editor keeps her soul in the freezer.
Linn and I, on The Beatles
Linn: Ringo Starr is my favorite. It's difficult to have a favorite in a band like The Beatles, but I've decided. Ringo is my favorite. I luff him.
Bee: Ringo has always been my favorite
Bee: Hi, his name is awesome!
Linn and I, on fetishes
Linn: You love it
Linn: My delusions of grandeur makes you all hot and bothered.
Bee: Nope. I do not have that fetish
Linn: That is exactly the kind of fetish you secretly have
Bee: Except how it's not. At all.
Linn: I love how you try to delude yourself. Listen to your heart!
Linn: It speaks the truth, dude
Linn and I, on bishies
Bee: just to remind you, I'm kind of a babe
Linn: Even though you look quite a bit like a dude. A bishie dude, but still.
Linn and I, on universes
Linn: My universe clearly wins over your universe. Mine has nanobots.
Bee: Mine has me. Game, set, match
Jess and I, on pretentions
Bee: I went through a phase where I signed everything Bretagne. I was a pretentious douche
Jess: You're still pretentious just minus the douchey part.
Linn and I, on sap
Linn: It's the "but mostly me" thing that just makes me smile for some reason.
Bee: Oh Linn
Linn: Yeah, I know. I'm a sap.
Bee: You're the original marshmallow
I am delicious. But in a non-marshmallow way. And I don’t make you vomit...– Bee
Linn and I, on truth
Linn: Some people can't handle the truth
Linn: Or my version of it, anyway
Bee: is that your issue always?
Linn: What do you mean?
Bee: I mean, it's not your fault if they can't handle your truth
Linn and I, on mosquitoes
Linn: You are truly the most benign among gods
Linn: I'm not sacrificing any virgins or goats or goat virgins at your altar, though.
Linn: I don't like you THAT much
Linn: I'm willing to sacrifice mosquitos. I'll kill them and think fondly of you.
Linn: Your sacrifice count will go up by the dozen. They're big as dogs up here.
Linn: And about as persistant as a terrier
Bee: That's most places, babe. Mosquitos don't like me though, I'm not tasty to them.
Linn: That's because they can't bite through your chiseled sparkly marble skin.
Linn: You should come here. Our mosquitoes aren't as picky as yours.
Bee: Pft. They would be for me. Vamps don't taste good to insects.
Linn: They can feel the kinship to you. The congregation of bloodsuckers.
Bee: And as one of them, they don't want to eat me
Linn: Shouldn't they want to eliminate the competition?
Bee: Nope. I am their queen
Linn: Hah. The queen of tiny annoying things I spend my summers squashing.
Linn: You're next, my lovely
Linn and I, on disguises
Bee: Sorry, I'm cooler than you
Linn: At least I don't get mistaken for a hobo
Linn: I win
Bee: It's my disguise, I can't have everyone knowing how awesome I am
Linn and I, on narcissism
Linn: You're such a narcissist
Bee: It works well for me
Linn and I, on paper
Bee: Way to eat half a fuckin' ream of paper
Linn: What, the book?
Linn: I'm betting it's a hefty bundle
Bee: It could kill babies
Linn and I, on pregnancy
Bee: ...I probably shouldn't tell my pregnant friend "Well I'm pretty sure the baby can't boil in your belly"
Linn: Probably. But it's true, it can't boil in her belly
Linn and I, on on style
Bee: you have no sense of fashion because you're a Swedish hick
Linn: No, I have a very well honed sense of what's flattering and what's in, I just don't give a shit
Bee: Oooh, so you're a loser
Bee: that makes sense too
Linn and I, on mockery
Linn: Man, talking to me must be like swimming in pure mockery gold sometimes, mustn't it?
Bee: It is
Bee: I don't even need to mock you because you can sense it coming
Bee: birds of a feather much?
Linn and I, on esteem
Linn: No, my dear, I am off to bed. Night, my love, my darling, my most esteemed if batshit insane comrade.
Bee: especially the last part
Bee: it's mutual. the esteem, not the going to bed.
Linn: *laughs* Of course it is, I have hoodwinked you into finding me utterly charming.
Linn and I, on writing
Bee: This story is so much cooler in my head than in my writing though
Linn: *snort* I believe it
Bee: Gee, thanks, that totally bolsters my confidence
Linn: That's usually how it is, though
Linn: My stories are ALWAYS cooler in my head
Bee: When I say it's cooler in my head what I mean is "god, I'm a hack, I've never read shittier writing than my own"
Linn: Also, dude, your writing is not that bad. You could probably use to write more
Bee: I know. And I'm happier when I write more.
Linn: And you hone your craft
Bee: And that, which also makes me happier
Linn and I, on Beiber
Linn: Also, what the fuck is up with this Justin Beiber person that everybody thinks he's so fucking fly?
Bee: Good god
Bee: he is a prepubescent muppet
Linn: What does he DO?
Linn: Why is he even famous?
Bee: tweenybop music
Bee: because 12 year olds wanna bang him
Linn and I, on telepathy
Linn: You know, I just tried to c&p out conversation and I only got your half of it. That is fucking WEIRD, dude
Bee: you imagined replying
Linn: Obviously I did
Linn: I replied with my MIND
Bee: mmm, telepathy is delicious
Bee: brain candy
Linn and I, on hair
Linn: Also, wow, my hair
Bee: I feel like that about your hair all the time. I know it's plotting world domination
Linn: My hair is fantastic that way, except for how it's one big knot at the back of my head right now
Bee: oh snap
Bee: as in, snap it all off. If it's short, it can't knot on you
Linn: It is short, which is why this knot is so funny. It's like having a baby bear stuck to the back of my head
Bee: ...I totally just laughed cos you made me think of the Jake Gyllenhaal with food macros
Bee: Oh knot of hair, when did you get so hilarious?
Linn: Oh, hair, when did you get so... ahahaha
Linn and I, on violence
Bee: YOU KILL MY SOUL
Bee: LIKE A BABY SEAL
Bee: IT JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED AND FED AND THEN YOU CLUBBED IT TO DEATH
Linn: Yeah, yeah. I don't give a shit about seals in any case
Linn: Except as polar bear food
Linn: Because I dig polar bears
Bee: fuck polar bears
Linn: Polar bears are awesome. Roly poly, fluffy killing machines
Bee: just like you
Linn: Exactly! Also, they can crush your skull with their jaws
Bee: I doubt you can do that
Bee: also, you're short
Bee: I felt it needed to be said
Linn: You're scrawny. I could totally take you
Bee: I BITE
Bee: and I'm bendy
Linn: I pinch. And I tickle
Linn: Also, I punch
Bee: I kick. And take off my shoe and smack with it
Linn: I kick back. And I'll lodge my foot so far up your vag you can taste it
Linn: Hooker fu, babu
Bee: Mmm, foot covered in vag juice
Linn and I, on fashion
Bee: Are you a cardigan-lover? Is that why you're Gee, you love hideous cardigans?
Linn: Well, not cardigans. I'm a hoodie person myself
Linn: I do love jackets, though. So Gee and I have that in common
Bee: dude, who doesn't love jackets?
Bee: When it comes to fashion, I have many points. All valid
Linn and I, on weretoasters
Bee: I would read the fuck out of weretoaster fic
Bee: but everyone knows this
Linn: We know you're twisted
Bee: and toaster-sexual
Linn: Same difference
Linn and I, on starvation
Bee: my pizza is a half hour late
Bee: PIZZA GOD LINN I ALMOST STARVED TO DEATH AND YOU WOULD HAVE WITNESSED THE WHOLE TRAVESTY
Linn: Starved in half an hour. Remind me to kill you before you get taken hostage. You'd eat me if they starved us
We've had some ridiculous fucking arguments in our...
Linn: And this coming from a person who doesn't wash her socks in seven years?
Bee: They're awesome socks, washing them might fuck them up!
Linn: They're SOCKS
Bee: FUZZY KITTEN SOCKS! AND UNION JACK SOCKS SIGNED BY A BEATLES TRIBUTE BAND
Linn: You have them on your feet in your shoes all day, and when you're done and they're smelly you WASH THEM and when they break, you buy new ones.
Linn: ...a Beatles TRIBUTE BAND? WASH THE FUCKING SOCKS, BEE
Linn: I mean, had it been MyChem or The Beatles themselves, then maybe, MAYBE, but a TRIBUTE BAND?
Bee: FUCK YOU, THE BEATLES ARE MOSTLY DEAD IT'S NOT LIKE I COULD HAVE HAD THEM SIGN MY SOCKS
Linn: WHY DID THEY SIGN YOUR SOCKS ANYWAY YOU MEGALOSER?
Bee: I WENT TO THEIR CONCERT AND WAS WEARING THOSE SOCKS BUT I WANTED THEM TO SIGN THEM SO I TOOK THEM OFF. THEY WERE GROSSED OUT TOO.
Linn: YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE. WASH THE SOCKS
Bee: COME OVER HERE AND MAKE ME
Linn: I WILL. I SWEAR I WILL. I WILL BREAK INTO YOUR APARTMENT AND STEAL ALL YOUR SOCKS AND WASH THEM AND THEN I WILL STRAP THEM TO YOUR FOREHEAD SO YOU'LL SEE WHAT A WASHED PAIR OF SOCKS LOOKS LIKE and seriously, I think this is the most ridiculous argument we've had, ever.
Bee: And for us, that's saying something.
The sad thing is, after this weekend now I have to wash my fuzzy kitty socks. I should not find this as distressing as I do.
I still haven't washed those socks. Yep, still.